I have no rights to fault myself... Because I missed the chance to say I love you...

I used to love myself a lot... i was such a darned boy, who is always full of confidence...
i doted myself more then everything else, i never cared about anybody...

i was such a boy, which i had even challenged a teacher's knowledge, the arrogance within me, made myself avoided by so many friends...

until one day, i met this girl, i started teasing about her name in the first few meets. she was so mad about the tease and she started to enemy-lize me...

if i wonder, what made us together, i will say its fate, because no one will like a boy like me with the stated characteristic, and she didn't like me either. but somehow, fate brought us together into a choir team, and we stayed close for the next 3 years, until my age of 15. then fate brought her closer to me, making her the same class as me in the science stream for SPM. She is in my class for the 2 years, i started to be not so arrogant, not to be so teassy, not to be everything bad. i started to learn to be a good friend, she became my first ever close friend! things goes like close friends until one day, after graduation, in my national service camp, the 2nd week inside the camp, i felt the feeling, i missed her so much... i really missed her, every moment without her was torturous for me. this is the first time, i called her, using a public phone... i said i missed her... and i forgot the exact situation, and somehow, i started to say that can i like you? or did i say will you be my girlfriend?
she was being nice, and thought i was joking... she said dont joke, its impossible,... and i stressed that im being the most serious time for my lifetime.
everything didn't turn out good when she said that, just one week before me, an anonymous, she said he was the guy working in front of her handphone stall had asked the same question like me, and surprisingly she agreed to the guy! for the time i missed in the 5 years, and the 2 weeks i missed in my national service camp, made me waited for this 2 years... im only able to put her inside my mind, inside my heart... im not able to speak everything out... she made everything of me to be not like me, and she made everything not like me to be like me...
so now, the feel remains, the love remains, the difference now is, the every second longer then that day, 10.1.08, the love gains weight.in my heart, there's always a room for you, in the deepest corner today. until he leaves you, i will return you the master room, hoping that you will be willing to stay in my house, as the owner of the room.